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Posted: July 08, 2007
This is the Unreadable Advertisement for Unspeakable Words. We'd describe it, but it's one of the Games Not to Be Described. We also have some Jokes Man Was Not Meant to Tell, but . . . we can't tell 'em. Don't take this to mean that this is a Game That Shouldn't Ever Be Played, though! It's really That Which Makes Great Mirth At the Expense of Timeless, Unfathomable Horror.Posted: July 07, 2007
Sure, it's annoying. Kang! But consider the situation. Chang! It's exactly not like there's a quiet way - bang! - to forge a spear from the - tong! - very ether of the cosmos. Spang! One capable of parting the heavens and - frang! - sundering the earth. Snap! "Snap?" You know what? On second thought, let's just order something out of Exalted: Oadenol's Codex.Posted: July 06, 2007
We may have just squashed Beowulf. Well, sheesh, when we decided to answer the distress signal, we didn't expect the ship to be so small! Come to think of it, all these Traveller starships are kinda smallish. There's only one reasonable, rational explanation for this. Someone's embiggened us with a gargantuafier. Again. How bothersome.Posted: July 05, 2007
Universal Understanding and Infinite Power of the Cosmos is neat and all, but magic is about something else, too: abracadabra. Without the arcane rituals, the incomprehensible utterances, or the chicken entrails, what fun is there to be had? Thus, Mage: The Awakening - Magical Traditions. And remember, casting spells is serious business. Even if you are dancing naked in a field in the middle of the night with a dead raccoon on your head.Posted: July 04, 2007
In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, there lived a strange race of people: game designers. No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but their legacy remains . . . hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge.Posted: July 03, 2007
Warehouse 23 has posted an updated Top 10 page for June. Check it out, and see what all the cool kids are buying . . .Posted: July 02, 2007
On the one hand, you could say that Taluva has a "booming" real estate industry. On the other hand, you could say that lava is constantly shooting out of active volcanoes and pouring down on the hapless villagers below as it reshapes the island. It's all a matter of perspective.Posted: July 01, 2007
That joke is more apt than one might think. See, Polarity uses black and white discs, much like the ones in Reversi. And on Star Trek, they're always flopping polarities around willy-nilly. And . . . and that's . . . um, it's funny, you see. Or we thought it would be, anyway. Look, they can't all be Webby material, okay?Posted: June 30, 2007
Ye be thinkin' ye can escape from tha piratey speach? Bah-hah-har! Ye be mistaken! Avast! Hearty! Rum! Me timbers! Doubloons! Scallywag! Um . . . Aye! Er . . . Lubber! Ah . . . did we use 'hearty'? Hmm, we seem to have run out. Sheesh, we ran out of pirate words before we could even get to Walk the Plank.Posted: June 29, 2007
Special like "forces," not special like "keeps trying to suck blood from Chia Pets." The Befanged Ones described in Bloodlines: The Chosen will give your Vampire game just a little more Awesome, pushing the chronicle up from Pretty Awesome and into the Totally Awesome category.Posted: June 28, 2007
We're told that it's short for "dimensional beings," but wouldn't it be more fun if D-Bees of North America were actually about little buzzy mutants with machine guns? Eh? Wouldn't it? No? Oooookay, fine, have it your way. But don't say we never tried to spice things up, Rifts fans! If you do, we'll release our deadly bees! With machine guns! See if we won't!!Posted: June 27, 2007
That's Uberplay for you. It's either Double or Nothing. None of that pansy, in-between, wishy-washy malarkey! This is a malarkey-free zone! All malarkey will be shot on sight!Posted: June 26, 2007
We really don't have any idea what's in Fantasy Imperium (or its deluxe equivalent), but it's probably pretty cool. Think of it as an adventure. Think of it as some grand, unexplored island. Think of it as your great-grandmother's ashes if that's what it takes. Just buy the silly thing. That's all we want. (Hey, at least we're honest!)Posted: June 25, 2007
Ever tripped over a log and bumped your head on a rock? And while you were lying there, dazed, getting your bearings, did you think about Diomin? Did you think about how you didn't own Acceptance of Fate? About how you need to rectify that situation? No? Well, perhaps it's time you went for a walk . . .Posted: June 24, 2007
Silly mortals. Walking around with your lattes and MP3 players and your Web 2.0. You think you're so great. Great between two pieces of bread with a light spread of mustard, maybe. Just you wait. When the Monster Mayhem breaks out, then shall we see who is greatest!